Proverbs - The Funny Version

1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.

2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.

4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

7. There is not one shred of evidence to support the notion that life is serious.

8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

12. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

For more fun facts...

For more fun facts, visit TidbitFun.com. It's updated a few times a week and is filled with fun facts, trivia, interesting information, weird holidays, quotes, jokes and more! It's fun and it will keep your brain sharp!

Questions

Why?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! And they think Goofy is the stupid one!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme junk, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?


Did You Know...
To call a person a "hassayamper" is a polite way of saying that one is a liar. Legend has it that after drinking from the Hassayampa River, one can never tell the truth again.
(For those who aren't familiar with it, the Hassayampa River is in central Arizona.)

Joke Joy

Here's something we all can use more of:

JOKE JOY:  "The pleasure you get by laughing.  It triggers a 'feel good' response in your brain similar to what cocaine can elicit."  -- Allan L. Reiss, M.D., Professor of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at Stanford University School of Medicine

(I'm sure the experimenting to compare cocaine to laughter was completely legit.)